No, i don't have real hopes that it would ever be found.
Call me dismal and pessimistic
but i worry about omens and signs.
Shit.
I sound so superstitious.
Yet i remember the spanish doll.
Smashed but mended.
Can this be lost and then found?
Hardly likely.
I don't like to see things when they shouldn't be.
Yet, when things are out of my control, i couldn't help it.
This could be an escapist mentality.
I blame myself for my carelessness
and worry if this could herald some deeper loss for me.
I am frightened of losses.
Perhaps some will say then that i am fearful of living too,
since isn't that what life is?
Gaining some and losing some.
Perhaps i am just selfish.
I don't mind losing what is not dear to me.
I embrace highs and lows only with certain stipulations.

Don't mess with my heart.
Don't mess with my mind.
Take my humour, my patience, my time.
Just not my heart or my mind.